Time

Time - for those who grieve, it is a blessing; but for those who try to hang on to every moment, it becomes a black hole, spinning faster or slower at its choosing, leaving only memories in its wake.
When I look at my growing children, I am reminded that the clock ruthlessly keeps ticking, and I try to make every moment with them count, as these are the times I will never get back.Why didn't I slow down enough to truly enjoy the first days of my childrens' lives? My sleep-deprived state at that time affected my ability to mentally capture the moments, and now all I have are a few photos and videos, and some cloudy, incomplete memories. Time can be a thief, and waits for no one.
As time continues to slip through my fingers, I find myself pondering the "what if's". What if I had pushed aside my fear of failure and grabbed some of the opportunities that had crossed my path? What if I had gotten serious about shaping my future instead of succombing to a reckless lifestyle in my twenties? I always thought I'd have enough time to do what I wanted with my life, but that was then and this is now, and the filler between them is much larger than it I remember it to be, although the fine wrinkles that stare back at me in my mirror would disagree. What happened? Time happened - time, sprinkled with the many unremarkable chunks of life.
I am struggling to gracefully accept the fact that I am aging, and that I will one day be an elderly woman, God willing. It's hard, and sometimes depressing, as with aging comes a refined, more personal perspective of my own mortality. I think it all boils down to trust and contentment. I need to trust God to be in control of my life and know what's best for me, and I need to be content with the "seasons" in which He places me. With this mindframe, time might slow down for me once again, but only if I can truly be a peace and focus on what really matters in this life.
Here's my advice to you and me: Stop what you're doing sometimes and just observe life; embrace your loved ones as if it were your last day with them here on earth; sit outside and really listen to the sounds that have become a filtered, ambient noise; appreciate the smaller things in life that aren't usually noticed until we slow down; count your blessings; and finally, make time your friend, and make each minute count.